Saturday, 8 October 2011

Alone in a Crowded Room

Yesterday evening, we were invited to a 50th birthday party for a friend of my wife. There were 104 people there and I'm sure they are all lovely, but I could not connect at all.

The place had no soul, the people were loud, the music was louder (and was more suited to a 21st birthday). It was everything I am not. Am I just getting grumpy as I get older, maybe less tolerant, or is there something else?

I felt lost and alone in a crowded room.

I felt angry with myself for wasting my time and my life by being here, but on the other hand I felt I should be respectful and thankful that I had been invited.

Fortunately, my wife felt the same as I did, and so after a couple of hours and with a plausible excuse, we said our thanks and goodbyes and left.

What I am and what I want is becoming clearer. My purpose, my direction, my goals, my path are slowly materialising before me. But the transition itself will still be hard - just because you know the direction you should be going in, doesn't making turning around easier.

1 comment:

Alison Brown said...

I can completely relate to that feeling!
Taking the path 'less travelled by' can be lonely, but it's heading in the right direction towards finding happiness!


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